Category: journal
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Some adults are lonelier than ordinary lonely adults because they are ashamed to admit the need of having friends. I caught myself being shameful while talking to my psychiatrist yesterday about it. Told him…I am ashamed to talk about this because I’m too old for this. (I’m 34) Due to above-normal heart palpitations and panic…
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Day 5. I just took some pictures and videos while riding on the back of my brother’s motorcycle. He drove me from Bulacan, Mandaluyong to Taguig, to search for available clonazepam stocks!!! And voilà! Zilch. A third world country problem…medicine stock. Day 6. It rained today. I’ve been asking for some rain since this summer…
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***TW. substance use disorder. Day four after being diagnosed with PTSD and Bipolar. Weak. I can’t do anything due to my crimson tide as well. I feel so weak. The physical copy of my clonazepam (a benzo) just arrived. I used to write about it when I was working as a content writer for our…
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Day 1 after consultation. I have something to look forward to. My medicines. But I can’t talk to people without cigarettes so I just hide inside my room. I still can’t take a bath. Still can’t finish anything. Taking a bath daily in my tropical country is mandatory due to summer heat. But I don’t…
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When you’re depressed… when you have PTSD or Bipolar disorder, people may often misinterpret your symptoms. They think you just “need space” and end up staying away. I want to talk to people, but I can’t talk to those who don’t understand. Those who do understand are simply busy, and I don’t want to disturb…
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Today, I consulted with a psychiatrist for the first time in my life. I just got diagnosed with PTSD and Bipolar. Had prescriptions today for antipsychotic (Risperidone), bipolar (Divalproex sodium), and sleeping pills (clonazepam). Three meds. lol. I will never use this as an excuse for my behavior but only sought help to help me…
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Day one to three, restless cryingI slept under my bed, curling upTo feel the stones beneath meThe coldness, reality…Day four, I’m starting to seek for something softGrabbed my little pillow and one blanketStill, I want to sleep on the groundA different kind of solaceRecovery is faster than what I’ve thoughtAll miseries I’ve survived before were…
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Like a bus with only me as a passenger Road bumps are the scars becoming thin Thoughts are running, spiraling in my brain I know and I remember everything I was there…I was present… in every moment. Freezing skeleton, overthinking Things I could have said and shouldn’t have Crawling in my skin, taunting me to…
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i say every religion has its own extremists…no exceptions, ALL OF THEM, and so, i remain an omnist. no matter how dark this world can be. as a former atheist and theology student (years later), I refuse to be boxed into a single ideology now. (currently i like shintoism more tho because of its respect…
ANAMEMOIR 