ANAMEMOIR

***TW. substance use disorder.

Day four after being diagnosed with PTSD and Bipolar. Weak. I can’t do anything due to my crimson tide as well. I feel so weak. The physical copy of my clonazepam (a benzo) just arrived. I used to write about it when I was working as a content writer for our rehab facilities. Yes, I was a content writer for mental health and substance use disorder.

The main reason I delayed consulting with a mental health professional is because I was self aware that I’m prone to substance misuse with the type of meds they might prescribe. I want to cry now. But I know I love my body this time, (enough that I didn’t relapse to harming myself with sharp objects.)

I worked for three years writing content to offer our programs where people can be connected with professional support. (offshore) My experience was like writing thesis everyday! 😅 My favorite source is https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov (National Center for Biotechnology Information) NCBI.

It’s funny that last year I was diagnosed with abdominal problems that required me to take opioids…and now for mental health…sedatives, and benzo.

I’ve proven myself that I could handle this well because I stopped opioids easily. ☺️ I just find it ironic…that after all those years I was writing content about them…now I’m personally writing about them as I’m experiencing these now firsthand.

I will be okay. I just want this crimson tide to end…because it makes my pain 100X painful.

Women… we suffer too much in a world where men act like they own us. I hate how this humanity is programmed. We need to do something about this. This can’t be it forever.

Men might say…oh, so you have crimson tide that is why your mood is f*cked up! I swear if somebody will tell me this, I might punch their face. My psychiatrist didn’t even ask me about my cycle, so no one should use this as a standalone rhetoric.