What you must understand about me is that I’m a deeply unhappy person. — Looking for Alaska 📖 No matter what I do.. I prayed, hoped, tried, smiled, given up, walked away, came back, anything… everything.. but the only thing that keeps me going now… is every single day’s surprising and simple uplifting encounters.. like…

I want to live and I want to die at the same time. Or maybe I’m just sleepless…and feeling invincible, because how the fuck can I still live like this? Every square inch of my body fights for me as if they have their own little lives over and under my skin. My heart calms…

I miss you so badly, but my only option now is to live as if you never existed. Just like in 2024, I am planning to visit other country again or buy a new guitar. To live my life to the fullest. Hope you’re doing well.

Saturday, the first night. I was rushed to the hospital, but no nearby facilities could accept me because we needed an S2-licensed psychiatrist. My family was advised to take me straight to the NCMH (National Center for Mental Health). They saved my life. I was nearly intubated and electroshocked…it was that life-threatening, my mother said.…

Some adults are lonelier than ordinary lonely adults because they are ashamed to admit the need of having friends. I caught myself being shameful while talking to my psychiatrist yesterday about it. Told him…I am ashamed to talk about this because I’m too old for this. (I’m 34) Due to above-normal heart palpitations and panic…

***TW. substance use disorder. Day four after being diagnosed with PTSD and Bipolar. Weak. I can’t do anything due to my crimson tide as well. I feel so weak. The physical copy of my clonazepam (a benzo) just arrived. I used to write about it when I was working as a content writer for our…

Day 1 after consultation. I have something to look forward to. My medicines. But I can’t talk to people without cigarettes so I just hide inside my room. I still can’t take a bath. Still can’t finish anything. Taking a bath daily in my tropical country is mandatory due to summer heat. But I don’t…

When you’re depressed… when you have PTSD or Bipolar disorder, people may often misinterpret your symptoms. They think you just “need space” and end up staying away. I want to talk to people, but I can’t talk to those who don’t understand. Those who do understand are simply busy, and I don’t want to disturb…