“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”
— Friedrich Nietzsche
A few days ago, I was so low-spirited that I even thought having reasons to live is a torture due to the pressures of life. I’d forgotten everything I learned from my last hike in Mt. Arayat. Yes, I hiked Mt. Arayat’s QUAD PEAK on January 26, 2025.
All peaks of Mt. Arayat that I’ve reached:
TKO/Alde peak: 850 MASL Pinnacle peak: 920 MASL South peak: 943 MASL North peak: 1030 MASL
Dayhike, major, 7/9 difficulty level, trail class 1-4
T’was initially supposed to be a twin-peak hike (Pinnacle-South), but the first group I joined canceled it. So, I joined a different group, which was planning to hike the quad peak. I told myself, ‘This has to be my fate,’ though I was a little scared.
TKO/Alde Peak
One mistake could have been fatal, literally. And the mosquitoes were relentless, biting through the gaps of threads of my pants. Yes, they were able to bite me even though I was wearing long sleeves and pants; their proboscises could penetrate the fabric. So, I strongly recommend applying insect repellent before the hike if you don’t want to be devoured by Mt. Arayat’s bulky mosquitoes (these mosquitoes are on steroids.) Another crucial tip…bring 3-5 liters of water, as there are no water sources at all.
I was weak, but not alone. I was slow, but I was part of a group of slow hikers as well. We were a group of 12 joiners with one lead and 2 guides. Six in our quadpeak squad were experienced hikers, while the rest, including me, were only just beginning our major hiking adventures.
Pinnacle Peak
The team of experienced hikers finished the trail in only 10 hours. Our group, with our sweeper guide, finished it in 18 hours. We took long rests between peaks, I admit we reposed too much, and I almost gave up during the third peak. I wasn’t sure I could finish the fourth and final one. Fortunately, everyone was determined to complete the hike, so I did too. (I was so tired, I have no sleep the night before the hike as well)
I felt a bit ashamed that it took me 18 long hours. But hey! No one got injured, and we completed it as a (technically) day hike!
South Peak
While hiking this mountain (which I had only seen from the expressways before) I learned that I could do something properly, continuously. (It was a rare feeling for me to work on something correctly without major mistakes, without stopping) Imagine if I had slipped or stepped on the wrong route? I would have definitely been injured, or worse, fallen off a cliff. (This mountain is technical, with countless 70-95° ascents and descents. Full of vines, thorny plants, loose soil, and untrustworthy rocks.)
North Peak
I was so determined to reach each peak during the ascents that I avoided mistakes. I was so relieved to reach the peaks that I had some minor stumbles during the descents. I realized that each path requires the same determination to return home safely. Climbing down is also scarier (my knees were shaking) and more exhausting than climbing up.
I had my reasons to hike…to reach the summit and peaks…so I used my strength to overcome all the challenges. Now, I need to find the ‘whys’ of my very existing so I can face my unending hows. My God! It’s a lot…to be honest. (I know the feeling of having no reason to live… it’s as if my stomach is filled with cold gas, and nothing more. An icy void. It’s a painful emptiness, a feeling so intense that death seems preferable. It’s the sensation of being hollow while a cold wind tries to pull you under.)
Mt. Arayat Quad Peak was my very first 7/9 difficulty hike.
Now, I can’t (yet) hike again, there are so many bills to pay. But for now…mountains can wait.
“Getting to the top is optional. Getting down is mandatory.”
ANAMEMOIR 
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